All coming back
by bonesmad
Summary: She had always thought it had been a mistake letting him in. Leaving all her walls down. Now he was gone. Just like everyone else, but she couldnt seem to get the walls back up...


Song: "It's All Coming Back To Me Now"

**Song: "It's All Coming Back To Me Now"**

**Singer: Celine Dion.**

_Now I know that this song has a totally different message and meaning but it just hit me like this so I hope you enjoy it!..._

_There were nights when the wind was so cold  
That my body froze in bed  
If I just listened to it  
Right outside the window  
_

She sat up in bed. There was no point in trying to get to sleep. It was too cold, and the storm was rattling all the windows in her apartment. As she sat there she thought about the last few months over an over again.

_  
There were days when the sun was so cruel  
That all the tears turned to dust  
And I just knew my eyes were  
Drying up forever  
_

For a few weeks she hadn't been able to cope. Everything reminded her of him. And yet she couldn't tell anyone about what was going on in her head. She couldn't let anyone how she really felt. She still hadn't cried. She couldn't.

_  
I finished crying in the instant that you left  
And I can't remember where or when or how  
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made  
_

When she had come home from the J. Edgar Hoover building that awful evening, she had immediately taken all the pictures, his clothes, and all his stuff, out of her home and put them all away in a box at the bottom of her cupboard. She knew that Angela had seen it. But she hadn't looked in the box ever since she had put it in there.

_  
But when you touch me like this  
And you hold me like that  
I just have to admit  
That it's all coming back to me  
When I touch you like this  
And I hold you like that  
It's so hard to believe but  
It's all coming back to me  
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)  
_

As she stared out the window at the rain, she realized why she was having such trouble sleeping. It was three months to the day since she had gotten the call. She drifted off in thoughts of what had happened before that day. She had finally realized how much she loved him. They had gotten together and it had been amazing. As the lightening flashed outside her room she remembered just how it felt to kiss him and be held by him. But it had all come crashing down around them when he had gotten his letter.

_  
There were moments of gold  
And there were flashes of light  
There were things I'd never do again  
But then they'd always seemed right  
There were nights of endless pleasure  
It was more than any laws allow_

Before that letter arrived everything had been perfect. He had made her realize that she could have happiness. That she deserved happiness. Of course they had fought, it was what they did, but in the whole it had been amazing. He had gotten her to do things that she would never have done in a million years before she met him. She smiled as one particular hour and one particular store closet in the Jeffersonian came to mind.

She hated to admit it but she was mad at him. He had gotten her to let him in. he had gotten her to change the way she was for him. And then he had disappeared. Just left her. And she had tried to go back to who she used to be. Who she had been before he had come along.

_  
There were those empty threats and hollow lies  
And whenever you tried to hurt me  
I just hurt you even worse  
And so much deeper  
_

She hated to admit it but she was mad at him. He had gotten her to let him in. he had gotten her to change the way she was for him. And then he had disappeared. Just left her. And she had tried to go back to who she used to be. Who she had been before he had come along.

_  
There were hours that just went on for days  
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances  
That were lost to us forever  
_

After she had found out that he was gone she had taken a few days off work to digest it all. The days took forever to pass. She waited for news everyday but it didn't happen. He was gone. She had lost him. She had lost happiness again.

_  
But you were history with the slamming of the door  
And I made myself so strong again somehow  
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then  
_

She had slammed Cullens door so loud that she could almost still hear the bang. Then she had done the only thing she could think of. She had distanced herself from everyone again. She had buried herself in her work again. And she had tried to forget about him. She didn't think about him.

_  
But if I touch you like this  
And if you kiss me like that  
It was so long ago  
But it's all coming back to me  
If you touch me like this  
And if I kiss you like that  
It was gone with the wind  
But it's all coming back to me  
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)  
_

She didn't think about him at all except at night. At night her mind left her control and stuck on him. He was in her dreams. His touch, his kiss and his smile were all that filled her mind for hours at a time. She remembered every detail of him at night and then she locked all those thoughts away again while she worked.

_  
There were moments of gold  
And there were flashes of light  
There were things we'd never do again  
But then they'd always seemed right  
There were nights of endless pleasure  
It was more than all your laws allow  
Baby, Baby, Baby  
_

The rain still hadn't stopped hours later. She was still sitting up in bed. there was a knock on the door. She waited to see if she had really heard it. It came again. More urgently this time. She got out of bed and went through to the apartment to the door. She opened it just as a flash of lightening struck across the sky. And he was standing there.

_  
When you touch me like this  
And when you hold me like that  
It was gone with the wind  
But it's all coming back to me  
When you see me like this  
And when I see you like that  
Then we see what we want to see  
All coming back to me  
The flesh and the fantasies  
All coming back to me  
I can barely recall  
But it's all coming back to me now  
_

"Booth!" she shouted and flung her arms around him. He grinned at her and her heart melted. The walls she had tried to build up again immediately fell down. They hadn't been as strong as she had thought. "But how?" she asked as she tried to take him all in. "Am I dreaming?" she shook her head.

"No Bones you're not. I'm Back." She let go of him and laughed.

"How?" her laugh faded and she stepped back in disbelief. "They told me you were gone. That you were missing presumed dead."

"They thought so Bones. But I was just injured. Badly injured. I couldn't remember anything for a few months. But I'm better now."

"I'm not." She said. "Booth I don't know if I can risk letting you in again." She took another step back.

"Don't Bones." He said stepping towards her and taking her face in his hands.

She noticed that there were extra scars on his hands. Before he had left she had known every little detail about him. But now he was different. And that didn't matter. When his hands touched her face she realized that nothing else mattered to her except the fact that he was back with her.

_  
If you forgive me all this  
If I forgive you all that  
We forgive and forget  
And it's all coming back to me  
When you see me like this  
And when I see you like that  
We see just what we want to see  
All coming back to me  
The flesh and the fantasies  
All coming back to me  
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now  
_

"Booth can you forgive me for giving up on you?" she said as she lay in his arms later that night.

"Can you forgive me for accepting that stupid letter to go back to Iraq." He whispered into her ear.

"You're already forgiven." She replied. "I missed you so much. I'd forgotten how to live without you." She let a tear fall down her face onto his chest.

"Well I'm back and I'm never leaving again."

_  
(It's all coming back to me now)  
And when you kiss me like this  
(It's all coming back to me now)  
And when I touch you like that  
(It's all coming back to me now)  
If you do it like this  
(It's all coming back to me now)_  
_And if we, , _


End file.
